As lively and noisy as any soccer game, Bard on the Beach's current production of The Merry Wives of Windsor, should thrill. The players on stage are as skilled as any on a field. The two merry wives, forwards Melissa Oie (Mrs. Ford) and the illimitable Jennifer Lines (Mrs. Page) and Ashley Wright (Falstaff), aging captain of the opposing team engage in a game replete with shots on goal and deceptive plays.

Re-setting Shakespeare's Windsor to a Vancouver sports club 400 years in the future is a daunting task. Amir Ofek has created a pleasant and spacious Community Centre lobby, women's changing room and an amazing steam room to stand in for Tudor houses and garden. The Garter Inn is transmogrified into Thirsty's Pub, a t times a more upscale establishment than its name suggests. Costume by Barbara Claydon is devised to match with soccer uniforms and towelling robes, a stunningly voluptuous dress.

In the centre of the lobby sits Ms. Quickly (Steffanie Davis) around whom plots and sub-plots whirl. In addition to helping all three suitors of Anne Page (Rachel Angco), Dr. Caius (Raf Rogers), Slender (Sara Vickruck) and Fenton (Cameron Grant), she manages the schedule of the community centre, making public announcements and supervising the cleaner (Jacob Leonard as John Rugby). Davis’ lives up to her character’s name, constantly zipping around on a desk chair, juggling clients and, in a moment of calm, soothing a bedraggled Falstaff. Her “Oh, sir” is priceless and her timing impeccable.

In fact, there is so much going on that Shakespeare’s already untidy and convoluted playbook is defeated by soccer balls, soccer songs, interpolated conversations, even the Wave. Rebecca Northan’s direction levels Shakespeare’s finely tuned social commentary and her conversion of Elizabethan stock characters into modern equivalents often seems arbitrary. School-teacher and minister Evans becomes a stoned guru (Zahf Paroo), and the conceited Dr. Caius (Raf Rogers in a well-controlled performance) is reconceived as a pseudo-physician -cum-chiropractor, for what purpose is not clear. The community centre is more Arbutus Club than Dunbar Soccer Association.

Rachel Angco is charming as Anne and lively as the messenger, Simple. Sara Vickrock’s Slender is a wholly original, singularly interesting creation. The mid-fielders, backs and coaches, Munish Sharma (Mr. Page), Anthony Santiago (Shallow), Yoshie Bancroft (Hostess) and others all have their moments.

MVP? Craig Erickson as the ‘very jealousy’ Mr. Ford. is achingly funny. His agitated paranoia, his utter conviction of his wife’s infidelity, the intensity of his delusion, funny enough, accelerate and come to a head in the steam room in a mind-bending stitch-inducing declamation. As a coda, what Erickson can do with a yoga mat should make it impossible for anyone, ever, to go to class without falling apart laughing.

Scarcely discernible under the clutter is a revenge comedy, a witty farce, some social satire underpinned with forgiving kindness. If you are concerned about how many followers you have, you may enjoy this production.

© 2026 Elizabeth Paterson